This Is How It Starts
by MorganBella13
Summary: And as he swallows the bitter seeds of remorse, he thinks only of her... Series of short drabbles. Might continue. Eclare.


A/N: Okay, so I know the last thing I need to be doing is starting another fic, considering I can barely update my other ones, but the idea just got stuck in my head and I had to write it down before I went insane. The idea of the story format goes completely to xotheophania.

This is basically just random Eclare drabbles, they have no connection with each other, written with the inspiration of putting my iPod on shuffle. Enjoy! And let me know if you want me to continue or not. It might just stay a one shot.

_**You put me on a shelf, and kept me for yourself**_

**[Swallowed in the Sea -Coldplay]**

"No. I want to go out and have fun tonight. I would like you to come with me but if you don't want to then I'll just go without you." This is how it starts. It will follow with defiance on his part and then her sighs of defeat as she changes into sweatpants and joins him on their beat up couch.

_This is the real world, _she thinks, _and you should spend time at home with your husband_. She keeps herself content with this statement, suppressing her need for social interaction. And she smiles, because that's what good wives do.

The next day, she sits in their bedroom alone while he is at work and stares at her wedding ring. Realizing it doesn't look right, she takes it off. Stares at her hand again. Realizes it doesn't look right with it off. Puts it back on again. This goes on for the next 20 minutes, until his car pulls up in the driveway and she decides that maybe it's best for her to keep it on.

"How was your day?" He asks. This is how it starts. _Lonely_, she thinks, but she doesn't say it out loud, because every single thing in her life is perfect, or at least she has to act like they are. She does not say how she misses her friends, or the person she used to be. She does not say that she wants to leave him.

"Fine."

_**Soon enough you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be**_

**[Unwell -Matchbox 20]**

"Please, just tell me what's wrong and I'll try to fix it." He pleads as she sobs uncontrollably. This is how it starts. One negative thought will set her off and he will be stuck. He would never admit to anyone that he secretly couldn't deal with her. Because that's not what good boyfriends do.

He thinks back and can almost remember a time when she was full of life. She laughed at the little things. One memory really sticks out in his mind as he tries to console her. It had been when they first met, maybe a little after.

"_Come on! The water's fine! It's not gonna kill you!" She yelled from the ocean, splashing the waves around her. The water came up to just above her ankles, not even touching the thin white dress she was wearing. The sun was just beginning to set, creating a glow around her as her reddish-brown curls blew in the wind._

_She laughed a fun laugh, splashing around in the water, dancing as if she couldn't help it or she just didn't care. He smiled, as he looked at a 16-year-old girl become 5 years old again. And when she called out to him again, he did not ignore her, instead joining her in the ocean, only because it made her smile..._

That was before the rape. Before her life spun out of control. He doesn't know who it was, nor does he know any other details, and he is certain she won't tell him any time soon. All he knows is that he needs to be there for her.

He gathers her in his arms and softly sings her to sleep...

_**Look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh**_

**[Photograph -Nickelback]**

As soon as she opens the box, she can't help but laugh, the good kind of laugh, the kind she hadn't had in a while. This is how it starts. She picks up the picture slowly, bringing it closer to her face. Yes, she remembers this night well.

The picture shows them together, something that makes her heart ache, but she still pushes it aside, focusing on the good memory that is entering her head. They had been drunk, and although completely out of character, they had been celebrating his promotion.

He is hanging upside down in a tree, black hair flopping around his face as he grabs her hands. She is laughing, trying to get him down because she is secretly afraid of him getting hurt, though she never tells him that. He is smiling, she is smiling, and in that moment, everything seemed right in their world.

That was last year. Now, at 24, he is long gone and she is left feeling bitter and alone. Not that she doesn't have company, because she does, but because he filled some sort of void in her chest that no one else could fill.

So as she tacks the picture up on her bulletin board, she feels grateful that he was a part of her life...

_**If go crazy then would you still call me Superman**_

**[Kryptonite -3 Doors Down]**

He stares at the little bottle of white pills sitting on his dresser. This is how it starts. He has not had the nerve to take one yet. As he sits on his bed, he thinks of her. He thinks of crashing the hearse for her. He thinks of plannings trips for her. He thinks of everything he's done for her. And he knows it obviously wasn't enough.

She is gone now, and he is alone. He doesn't know what the cause of his anxiety is. It could be Julia. It could be stress. It could be anything. What he does know, is that he is not strong enough now to keep his emotions in check.

He thinks about how she wouldn't want to date a crazy person. That's why she left. It was his fault. This is his logic and this is how he thinks things are. As an Atheist, he prays every night that she will come back to him.

And so, crossing his room to his dresser he thinks of her.

And as he swallows the bitter seeds of remorse, he thinks only of her...


End file.
